Social Media Comparisons and What That Has To Do With the Trinity
Have you ever unfollowed someone on Facebook or Instagram because it seemed like they were flaunting their wealth, vacations, looks, kids, accomplishments, popularity? I have. One time, a gorgeous friend of mine kept posting selfie after selfie, looking stunning in each one. She kept this up, several photos a week, for months. I knew the backstory, that she was newly single and probably needing affirmation, but she got more than enough of that from the first two or three photos – hundreds of comments about her beauty. It was annoying.
The struggle most of us have to avoid comparing ourselves with other people got much more intense with the advent of social media. Mental health experts regularly warn us about how social media can present a false image of prosperity or happiness that can lead us to feel inadequate. You may have read the research that shows how damaging Instagram has been to adolescent females, creating anxiety and self-image problems.
Comparison is a kind of trap because you can’t accurately compare yourself or your life to other people’s. You can’t know their whole life – their weaknesses, their heartaches, their losses, their temptations. You may see a little of that, but only what they let you see. But you do know all of your own weaknesses and hardships. So you are comparing apples to oranges.
We can help by trying to be a little more honest on Facebook or Instagram. Maybe we shouldn’t always post the flattering picture. But it’s pretty hard to post a picture where you look terrible; we normally just delete it from our camera. Maybe we shouldn’t always just post our kids’ accomplishments. But no one wants to throw their kid under the bus by posting about their suspension from school or arrest for drunk driving or rejection from college.
So even if we make a good faith effort to be more real on social media, it will still never “tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.” The upshot is that we will have to take responsibility for controlling our own attitudes and emotions as we scroll, reminding ourselves of what is NOT being posted.
I know God doesn’t want us comparing ourselves with each other. Once when Peter asked Jesus something about John, Jesus replied, “What is that to you? You must follow me.” (John 21:22) But I never thought about comparison in terms of the character of God until I read Mythical Me, written by my college friend Richella Parham. She describes the Trinity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as being in perfect relationship with each other. If you’ve ever been around a friend trio, you know how there can be subtle shifts in loyalties, manipulations, jockeying for best friend position with one or the other member of the trio, struggles with one feeling left out. But there is none of this with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. None of them need to prove anything to the other ones. None of them need reassurance of their value to the other two. None of them doubt the love between all three of them. They accept their role and don’t envy the role of the other two. As Richella quotes from the Puritans, “God in himself is a sweet society.”
Amazingly, we are invited into this sweet society, to live in complete harmony with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, accepting and loving all other humans as God does, without partiality or jealousy. We know our value, our role, and how we are loved, so we can look at other people’s lives, and our own, with love and grace, mercy and acceptance.
If you want to order Richella’s book, here’s a link. https://amzn.to/3EsnHtC
